The good news is, you’re most definitely not alone in your attempt to try to make sense of and survive this crazy time we’re living in – it’s not just your world and mine that’s been turned upside down – it’s literally everyone’s world (more like chucked in an industrial washing machine on the “super-fast-spin-but-good-luck-trying-to-iron-it-afterward” cycle”). The bad news is that with this crazy time has come an overwhelming torrent of information and misinformation, conflicting opinions and tension which make it a struggle to find a calm space both physically and mentally.
The aim of this blog has always been dear reader, to encourage you and give you hope, to reach out with love and kindness and offer you some support on your journey in terms of what I have discovered, experienced and overcome by the grace of God. This is uncharted territory for everyone though and I have thought long and hard about what I would like to add to the tumultuous sea of words constantly crashing down upon us. I have finally settled on offering you something that I personally desperately crave at the moment, and that is… a good laugh.
So read on for a silly little story meant to brighten your day and share an insight or two along the way…
It is a well-known fact to those who know me that running is only something I will do if I am highly, and I mean HIGHLY motivated – we’re talking the “giant mutant piranha-roaches are intent on devouring me” kind of motivated. Don’t get me wrong, I love exercise and high intensity interval training with cardio and weights is an essential part of my life, but running – No. Thank. You.
I’m pretty sure I know where this aversion to running came from – apparently as a small child I wouldn’t run because I was afraid of falling or smacking into things due to my severe visual impairment. By the time I had gained some confidence in my ability to navigate the world I had also discovered horses. What has this got to do with running you might ask? Well, because I lived, slept and breathed horses I taught myself to run like one – to be precise, I taught myself to canter (no, four legs are not necessary, two are just fine). The canter is a wonderful bouncy skipping type of run that’s not too fast and makes jumping over things really easy because you’re bouncing already (fantastic for horse-obsessed me to build show jumping courses in the garden for myself). That said, if I could run like a horse, why would I want to run any other way? So I never got comfortable with the muggle way of running.
Coming back to the present time, when the full lockdown began here in South Africa and my husband Daryl, being an avid gym-goer, had to figure out ways to exercise at home. Amongst other things he started running around the perimeter of our property. For some reason this sparked an interest in me, a longing to be moving consistently in a direction outdoors whilst enjoying the open sky and lush tranquillity of the garden. I’m pretty used to having limited freedom of movement due to disability and a non-existent transport system. Added to that, I have an extremely strong Dorothy-like belief that there is indeed no place like home. But all things considered, I was feeling a little bit “stuck”. So I started to walk around and around the house, but only for a day or two before it didn’t feel like enough. I was going nowhere slowly and for some reason I wanted to be going nowhere fast. That’s when I did it… I started to run. It started as just a little bit of each circuit, but the run to walk ratio very quickly shifted in favour of the run. That’s when I realised that hamsters with their exercise wheel obsession are really on to something!
Lesson number 1 – When you feel stuck, try something new! You might be surprised by the fact that you don’t completely suck at it, and if you do, you can only get better!
Did you know that there is a right way to run? I don’t know how many times people who have never ridden a horse have told me that riding is easy because the horse does all the work (just for the record, convincing an enormous and naturally flighty animal that can throw you off and literally trample you to death to work with you to an extent that makes the partnership look effortless is not “the horse doing all the work”). I guess this should have helped me make the miniscule leap in logic to the fact that running is not just a thing that happens and that humans are just naturally programmed to do effectively. Research on YouTube and the occasional “am I doing it right now?” in Daryl’s direction have helped me begin to correct my apparently grossly inadequate ability to put one foot in front of the other properly. I am so grateful for this knowledge and practice, because can you imagine if the giant mutant piranha-roach apocalypse had already happened? I would have been running away ALL WRONG! I wouldn’t have stood a chance… I would have been piranha-roach fodder.
Lesson number 2 – Never stop learning. The minute you stop being curious and learning in favour of thinking that you know it all, is the minute you stop growing and developing into a better version of you.
That’s not to say that there is no danger involved in my current hamster-like pursuits. There is an adorable land-dwelling piranha of the four-legged and furry variety named Skye who agrees that going nowhere fast is a great use of time and energy. The excitement of avoiding falling over him as he randomly runs across my path or tries to gnaw on my ankles adds a thrilling aspect of uncertainty to each exercise session.
Lesson number 3 – Life is what you make of it. You can settle for “boring and mundane”, or you can dig out and dust off your imagination and make it whatever you want it to be. Life is always an adventure if you choose to see it that way.
Bugs are another thing I never considered and they have added to my newfound respect for runners. Bugs have the choice to fly anywhere they want to, but they choose to fly into my nose or my mouth as I gasp for air like a goldfish that made an ill-fated leap for freedom out of its bowl. This too I choose to see as an added element of adventure – choking hazard versus extra protein – which will it be today?
Lesson number 4 – Glass half full or half empty? Bugs extra protein or a choking hazard? A positive outlook or a negative one? The choice is always yours and your life will be a reflection of every choice you make.
My Fitbit has been a huge help in getting me to push myself more each time I run. When anxiety starts to whisper that my heart is about to explode or my lungs implode, I can check my heartrate and consistently be reassured that I’m not actually dying. The Fitbit also helps me stay competitive with the only person I care about competing with, namely myself. Just the other day I also found out that my Fitbit has a nifty “pause to puke or pass out” feature (that’s not what it’s really called, but it does pause when you bend over double to clasp your shins and suck in huge lungfuls of air to stop yourself from passing out or puking).
Lesson number 5 – Exercise may feel uncomfortable sometimes, but that’s just you pushing your limits and getting stronger. Life is like that too, if we never push the limits, how will we ever become stronger and figure out what we are really capable of?
There have been some practical considerations, like keeping my mind focused on running as opposed to thoughts of dying (see above). That’s where listening to all the cheesy pop-dance music my teenage emo-self would have despised comes in. A good run needs a good beat, but not necessarily good lyrics. The state of the lawn, which has been repeatedly trampled, has been another consideration, but only briefly – we all need to make sacrifices and the lawn laying down its life is no exception. The final consideration has been that the evenings are getting colder now and my ears tend to ache when the breeze created by my Flash-like running *cough, cough* hits them. So the ridiculousness of shorts, short sleeves and a pom-pom beanie with ear-flaps and tassels happened. I regret nothing…
Lesson number 6 – If what you are doing makes you feel happier, more comfortable or more in control and it’s not detrimental to you or anyone else – go for it! No matter how ridiculous you think you seem to others, do what works for you and own it.
With lockdown downgraded very marginally to level 4, we are now allowed out of our yards for three hours every morning for some exercise. We have taken advantage of this small freedom, walking the dogs and enjoying the space we had taken for granted before. And yet, I am still also holding fast to the safe and known – my personal hamster wheel around my own home.
Portal to Change 
Hi Melissa, what an inspiration! Lol Claire
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