On the 22ndof November I celebrated my 36th birthday. That might be a completely shocking statement to you for two reasons:
- I used the word “celebrated”. Since when is getting older something we should celebrate?
- I just shamelessly told you, and the rest of the internet, MY ACTUAL AGE!
We are constantly bombarded with the idea that youth is something we should strive to keep – even if the only way we can hold on to it is by keeping our age a secret! We move through childhood celebrating birthday after birthday, being praised for “getting so big” and “growing up so fast”. In our teens we live from birthday to birthday because each one gets us closer to adulthood and independence. After 21, birthdays become somewhat less exciting, and by 25 we realise that we are on a fast-moving train with an inevitable dead-end looming somewhere around a future bend. So we stop celebrating, we start pretending that birthdays don’t have a number attached to them – “Yes, bring on the birthday cake and let us mourn my imminent demise together” we say (if only in the darkest recesses of our subconscious). The exception might only be each decade, when we momentarily breathe a sigh of relief that we have safely reached the next big zero – “Let us eat cake and briefly acknowledge that I have survived another decade without my train being derailed”.
It all seems rather ridiculous when you think about it, and I’ve thought about it a lot. So I decided to start celebrating my age, to start embracing it and to never be embarrassed by it. I started thinking of it as levelling up instead of having a birthday and that made all the difference.
For context, I am a complete nerd and one of the nerdiest things I like to do is play video games (something you should also not be embarrassed to admit to as an adult, but that’s a whole other blog post). My favourite world to immerse myself in at the moment is “The Elder Scrolls V – Skyrim”. For further context, “levelling up” is a gaming term for progressing in the game to the point where your character gains new skills and abilities.
So how can you make a mindshift from ageing to levelling up? And how will this mindshift affect your mental wellbeing? If you’re still here and didn’t leave in a judgemental huff after I admitted to being a nerdy adult who loves video games, read on…
1. Levelling up is cause for celebration
Levelling up in a game is a big deal. In Skyrim you are rewarded with some triumphant music and bold letters across the screen declaring your greatness (and you do feel pretty awesome).
When you reach the end of another year of your life and start out on the next, there is just so much to be thankful for. Instead of commiserating with others and yourself on every post-21 birthday, think about the fact that you are still here. You got to love the people around you for another year, you got to do the things you enjoy for another year and you got to grow for another year (I don’t mean sideways, I mean in all the ways that make you better and stronger as you go through life).
People reach that dead-end bend in the track every minute of every day all over the world, but you still get to be here – how mind-blowing is that! Every time you level up you should be celebrating the gift of one more year that you got to live and love, and the possibilities that the next level holds.
2. Levelling up is something to be proud of
Every time you level up in Skyrim you get stronger in various areas and you also get to pick a new skill which changes how your character interacts with the world.
In life, you progress so much from birthday to birthday, even if you don’t realise it. Even the smallest positive change is something to be proud of! A mindset of levelling up allows you some space to be proud of where you are compared to where you were the previous year. We might feel like we are stagnating in some areas of our life, or even going backwards, but what levelling up helps us focus on is the areas where we have gained and improved.
I’m proud to be level 36, because when I reached it I could look back and say that I have grown so much since level 35. The triumphant music played and after a time of reflection and gratitude I was inspired to do even more by level 37, God willing.
3. Levelling up allows you to take stock of the journey that got you there
Levelling up in Skyrim happens according to how much you do. The best way to level up quickly is to tackle a really big task that involves lots of risks and uncertainty. When you reach a new level, you know that braving the dungeon full of enormous poison-spitting spiders rendered in all-too-realistic HD helped you get there faster than strolling through the wilderness firing arrows at helpless deer and hoping a dragon wouldn’t eat you.
Birthdays are a time to look back and appreciate that the hardest parts of the year, the things that felt the worst at the time, were some of the things that have helped you grow the most in strength and skill. So next time you level up, think back on the battles that you won and lost during that level, and what you have learned from all those experiences.
4. A levelling up mindset helps you remember to enjoy the game
I play Skyrim because it’s fun. It can be frustrating, scary, confusing and dark sometimes, but the goal of playing is enjoyment. Levelling up is something great that happens along the way, but it isn’t the main goal.
Life is best lived in the moment, not constantly ruminating about the past or worrying about the future. When you focus on all the negatives of a birthday – like the unavoidable “game over” that awaits us all – you lose your joy and excitement for simply being alive here and now. Levelling up helps you to focus on all the little details you might normally take for granted, and this in turn, reminds you that life is for living right here and right now.
5. The more you level up, the more you improve others’ experiences of levelling up
When I was a noob at Skyrim (gamer slang for someone who is going to get mauled viciously by the first seemingly cute woodland creature they come across because they don’t even know how to draw their weapon), I sought help from gamers online who had been playing for a long time. If you haven’t played video games in a while, or ever, they can be incredibly difficult and intricate! Learning from others didn’t take away from the game, it made it even more fun because I had some clue as to what I was supposed to be doing!
In life, as in video games, as we level up we can choose to use the powers we gain for good or evil. When you choose to use your levelled up skills for good, you can share your experiences and help others get to their next level emotionally in one piece and flourishing.
Turn to the dark side though, and your words or actions could be the final reason someone needs to quit the game of life once and for all.
6. Levelling up just sounds so much cooler
“I just reached level 36” vs “I just turned 36” – need I say more?
Youth is wonderful when you have it, but it doesn’t last. Instead of letting the world convince you that you should be mourning its loss, change your mindset so that you can celebrate and be proud of the level you’re at and how far you’ve come. Always use the skills and abilities you gain from levelling up for good, and above all, remember to enjoy the game!
Portal to Change 
Good one
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