Hi and welcome!
I started this blog because I have always loved creative writing and because I feel that I have so much to share which could bring hope and light into the lives of others. I’m passionate about creating awareness, sharing my experiences and offering my thoughts on various topics including mental health, anxiety, disability, happiness, relationships, living on purpose and making the most of every moment of life.
I have decided to be completely open and honest about my own thoughts, struggles and victories because I wish that there had been more resources like this available to me throughout my life. Two of the most difficult and isolating struggles of my life have been, and to some degree still are, disability (Oculocutaneous albinism – I am severely visually impaired and I have zero pigmentation in my skin, therefore sun = bad) and anxiety (generalised anxiety disorder, agoraphobia and panic disorder). This blog is about me, my thoughts and my life, but who it’s truly about is you. We all want to belong, to not feel alone and to have someone to relate to – If this blog makes you feel less alone, more understood and accepted and more hopeful and equipped to live life to the full, then I wrote every word for you.
Do less…
If you’re even a little bit like me – in other words a very determined individual – you’re no stranger to taking on too much, trying to please everyone, and feeling the need to prove yourself in some way. And if so, you’ve also experienced your fair share of crashes when burnout hits and you…
If meeting new people makes you anxious, try this…
“Don’t talk to strangers!” For some of us, this grim warning given by so many grown-ups during our childhood years seems to have gotten itself lodged firmly in our adult brains. But have you ever asked yourself what exactly you’re afraid of?
What fills you?
We all need different types of “filling” at different times, and learning to be mindful of that is a huge step towards a more balanced existence.
How to right a relationship when something is bugging you
One of the biggest causes of tension in relationships is when we tolerate something the other person does that bothers us. We might quietly stew for a while or we might have a really low boiling point – but sooner or later, we either explode or implode.
“Rebranding” – A trick to get you back on track
“Rebranding” is simply choosing better wording for a goal, challenge or situation. This helps you see things from a completely new perspective that better serves you and empowers you to take action.
Bite-sized bit – Unexpected little upsides
Not all BAD things are ALL bad. Do your best to find the unexpected little upsides when things don’t quite go your way.
Why you should take the time to celebrate
Conquering your mountains seems to be all about the climb, but if you never take the time to pause and celebrate how far you’ve come, how will you ever enjoy the view?
What is your intention for today?
Setting an intention for the day helps you realise that even when circumstances aren’t the best, and people let you down, you still have control over your own thoughts and actions.
10 Things a tarantula taught me
Until recently I would have never considered myself a brave person. To me, bravery meant being fearless, and I was definitely the polar opposite of fearless. But as I learned to think about and approach my fears differently, I started to feel ready to face one of the big ones… many-eyed wriggly things with eight…
Bite-sized bit – Why our greatest gifts need warning labels
Our greatest gifts can have a dark side if we don’t use them mindfully and stay within the boundaries we have set.
If sunflowers could speak, this is what they would say…
Sunflowers are incredible to look at and to touch, but what if they could speak? I think they would have some really wonderful life advice to impart…
In an imperfect world, your focus determines your feelings
The circumstances we find ourselves in are often far from perfect, but we can find glimpses of perfection if we look hard enough. It’s all about where we choose to focus our attention and, in turn, how we choose to feel.
Bite-sized bit – Why do we keep fetching the baboon behind the hill?
Imagining that the worst lurks behind the next hill brings all the unnecessary feelings of fear and worry associated with that imagined future into the present.
Don’t allow circumstances to stunt your growth
Life happens… but that doesn’t have to mean the derailing of your growth-train. It just means you have a choice between hopping onto an alternative route and getting every bit out of the journey, or getting stuck going nowhere while you wait for your circumstances to change.
Bite-sized bit – What doesn’t kill you does not necessarily make you stronger
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” – We’re all so used to this cliché floating around in song lyrics, conversations with well-meaning sympathisers and echoing in our own heads as we try not to drown in the tsunami-ridden waters of life. But have you ever questioned the truth of the statement? Does adversity really…
Bite-sized bit – When last did you really STOP and ENJOY your tea or coffee?
Grant yourself some mindful minutes every day to stop and really enjoy something – whether that’s tea, coffee or just the miracle of being alive.
Bite-sized bit – Don’t forget to have some FUN
Considering current events and the fact that 2021 didn’t come flitting in like your fairy godmother to magic away all the problems you’re facing right now, it’s probably safe to say that you’re lacking some fun in your life.
Bite-sized bit – What would life be like if you were your own biggest supporter?
What would life be like, if, instead of hoping for support and approval from others, you gave YOURSELF everything you are longing for?
Bite-sized bit – How can you better define success?
Most of us have a strong desire to be successful in life. We see success as a mountain to be conquered, a dragon to be slain, a destination to be reached – in other words, a single point in time which will define who we are.
Bite-sized bit – Starting something new is like building a puzzle
Next time you want to start something new but feel “stuck” in that fearful, frustrated state of mind we all know so well, give these puzzle-building tactics a try…
Bite-sized bit – When you aren’t ready or able to let the darkness go, find some light to lighten your load
Reflecting on this past year may bring up painful memories for you. Some might feel fresh and raw and others more like a dull but persistent ache. It’s okay to remember and it’s okay to have those feelings.
Bite-sized bit – When you / someone else is struggling, ASK…
Why do most of us find it so difficult to reach out for help when we’re struggling? What if instead of hoping that others might instinctively know what we need when we reach out, we ASK for something specific?
Bite-sized bit – Scheduling for stress vs success
You can choose to get off your hamster wheel or treadmill or whatever other device of torture you have created for yourself – all it takes is a clear direction and a bit of smarter scheduling.
Bite-sized bit – What is it costing you to stay in your comfort zone?
We tend to think of our comfort zone as a safe little nest where we know what to expect and where we can control things to a certain degree. But what if the cosy nest we so carefully construct and defend is actually just a cage?
“Subduing My Squirrels” – A technique to help you deal with overwhelm and worry
I would like to share a technique with you that has helped me get my squirrels in a row (okay, multiple rows… but at least they’re orderly). This is a great way to take everything that is crashing around in your head, lay it out, and then deal with it in an easily manageable way.
The lighter side of lockdown – That time I decided to run by choice
This is uncharted territory for everyone and I have thought long and hard about what I would like to add to the tumultuous sea of words constantly crashing down upon us. I have finally settled on offering you something that I personally desperately crave at the moment, and that is… a good laugh. So read…
Raising resilient kids by taking the fear out of failure
I was a fearful child who grew into a fearful adult. I was afraid (and still am) of a great many things, but one of my top fears was the fear of failure. As I have learned to tame that fear I have realised how critical it is for us as parents to help our…
10 DO’s for supporting someone who is struggling with anxiety and / or panic
I hope this list can help you if you are at a loss as to how to support someone who is fighting their own life-eating leeches. Or, if you are that someone, you can choose to pass this list on to the super-heroes in your life who feel powerless to help you.
An attitude of gratitude can change your world
From that first day of gratitude journaling things began to shift, I started to see and experience things I had been taking for granted because I was actively looking for them throughout the day. The world didn’t change, but my outlook did – and that, in turn, changed my world.
Dedication (not motivation) is the key to success
We are constantly bombarded with the idea that motivation is the key to success. That having a good enough reason to want something will magically provide us with all the willpower we need to propel ourselves over, under or through any obstacle that stands in our way. The most important thing to remember, is that…
Affirmations: Words that have the power to help lessen anxiety and panic
So what exactly is an affirmation? It’s a statement which challenges your negative thoughts and helps you get into a more positive I believe they work because they drown out all our negative mental chatter with something positive. We can grab on to those words like a bright pink doughnut pool floatie in the dark…
A year as a support group facilitator: These are some of the lessons I have learned…
Towards the end of last year I was offered the opportunity to facilitate a depression and anxiety support group. I hope that gathering all of these lessons I’ve been privileged enough to learn will inspire you to leap at the opportunity you’re considering running away from.
Levelling up
We are constantly bombarded with the idea that youth is something we should strive to keep – even if the only way we can hold on to it is by keeping our age a secret! Youth is wonderful when you have it, but it doesn’t last. Instead of letting the world convince you that you…
Overwhelmed? Overcome!
Anxiety causes your body and brain to turn traitorously against you, thereby limiting and frightening you. One of the ways it twists your reality is by causing you to feel completely overwhelmed by even the littlest things. Coping with anxiety means taking control of your life and thoughts in a healthy way, so I sincerely…
Put it in a box
There are times when the best place for your hurt is in a box. When you put it there you can find joy in the present, find comfort in the people who love you and find peace in the act of letting go and letting be. You will find that if you open your mind,…
Do it badly
You can and should accept help and support, you have to decide to get out of your own way. You have to decide to push through the fear, to be honest with yourself about your limitations and your excuses and to just do what you’re putting off with the only criteria for success being “did…
All in a name
Every new endeavour starts with one pivotal first step, that single step which could set a whole new trajectory for your life. My first step in this blogging adventure was to choose a name that would inspire and challenge me to write from the heart. To fill empty space with words of encouragement and shine…
Portal to Change 