I recently realised something unpleasant about myself, something that I could so easily have minimised until the dissonance in my mind faded, or explained away by rationalising it with a thousand excuses. But unless you face unpleasant realisations about yourself, you can’t define them and find ways to improve the way you engage with yourself and the world around you, and you can’t address the underlying motivations driving you to act against your values.
I was a content caterpillar.
What’s that you might ask? It’s someone who mindlessly noms on morsel after morsel of content –some juicy and wholesome, some dry and tasteless, some so tiny and empty of anything nutritious you barely know you’ve had them. I would fill spare moments flicking through short-from videos on Instagram, scrolling through my Facebook feed and watching or listening to video after video on YouTube. Most of these things felt good in the moment – they were a distraction, they were company, they were entertainment, and they were easy to chow down on anywhere and anytime. This didn’t happen overnight, it crept up on me slowly over time, until one day it hit me that I was wasting so much precious time on things that weren’t adding to my life in any way, time that I desperately needed for real rest, meaningful connection and practical tasks. Maybe you can relate. Maybe you too have been, or are currently, a content caterpillar.
So how did I come to realise that all this constant consumption wasn’t for me? It started when I realised that I didn’t have enough hours in a day to get everything done and did an honest audit of how I was spending my time. There were many other things that needed to change, but a big one was how much time I was spending just mindlessly chomp, chomp, chomping on content. I also realised that when you fill your mind with so much visual and auditory input, you take up so much of the mental room that is meant for thinking, processing and creating – all things I value and need. So I started to set some boundaries for myself – not all at once, but slowly. Like disabling almost all the apps on my phone from bedtime till the morning. Then deleting Instagram and Facebook off my phone and only having access to them on my PC. And then later setting a time limit on how long I could watch YouTube shorts in a day. This felt better, and although I thought I might miss things, I never did. I felt better because all those moments were reclaimed and I didn’t have to carry the weight of all that time wasted – a few minutes here and a few minutes there, which added up so quickly over days and weeks to scary amounts of “empty brain-fodder”. And that’s a point I want to emphasise – I was by no means spending huge chunks of time a day doing these things, it was more subtle than that… And in that subtlety lay a slippery slope that I had thankfully only just begun to drift down.
Those were all positive changes, but what really got me thinking – and mind you, I had a lot more time to do that by then – was a faith-based meditation I try to listen to on a daily basis. It’s a podcast for anyone wanting to pray the Rosary each day, with the aim to help people know their faith, deepen their relationship with the Lord, and make a concrete resolution to take some kind of action that day based on what they have meditated on. There was a meditation on content and how we consume it without stopping to think about whether it’s nutritious or just “empty calories”. We also don’t give ourselves time to digest what we’ve seen, read and / or heard, and we usually don’t take the time to form some kind of resolution and then act on it if something stands out to us. The danger in acquiring a lot of information that we don’t practically apply to our lives, is that it puffs us up. And the only thing that can pop that sneaky pride-bubble, is challenging ourselves to apply that information to our lives in a practical way – easier said than done! This made me realise that even though I had curbed some of my content caterpillar behaviours, I was still mindlessly gulping down YouTube videos – mostly listened to in the background while doing chores or other tasks. Still getting puffed up on information without applying it, still being quite indiscriminate about what I put in my little caterpillar maw from the endless content selection, and still giving away my headspace for fear of a little boredom or loneliness before thoughtful insights and creativity drift in.
This led to the next phase in my metamorphosis towards a more butterfly-like approach to content – the sip sip, savour, then flounce about surviving life and trying to enjoy the big and small wonders of the world approach. This meant telling my panic and anxiety support group members that our newsletter would no longer contain a section stuffed with carefully curated informative images and memes. I was done scrolling on Facebook on my PC as well, because the pay-off of a great newsletter wasn’t worth the way scrolling for filler content made me feel. And I was already putting hours of research and preparation into meetings and newsletters to provide more “nutrient dense” information. It also meant becoming far more mindful of what I was listening to or watching on YouTube, how much time I was spending on the platform, and what I was actually gaining from the time I was spending there. I really do enjoy long-form YouTube content because there is just so much to learn and enjoy. And now that my approach to it is so different, it has a far bigger and more positive impact when I do mindfully choose to engage with a piece of content there. I still make mistakes sometimes – like forgetting to take a break to process, or engaging with something for too long before realising that it’s not adding to my life. But that’s part of breaking habits that are harmful and building habits that help us change and grow for the better.
At this point I want to remind you that we all have our own stories and our own reasons for thinking and behaving as we do. We all interact with social media and other forms of content in different ways, for different reasons, and for different amounts of time. Just remember that you need to write your story and not allow it to be written for you. If you have any doubt, ask yourself these two questions and be completely honest with your answers:
1) What (if anything) is it costing me to consume the content that I do?
(time, relationships, being fully present, productivity, creativity, peace of mind etc.)
2) What am I gaining (if anything) from the content I consume?
(knowledge, inspiration, understanding of other perspectives, food for thought etc.)
Have you thought deeply and honestly? Have you looked into the unflattering mirror of reality and, like me, seen a content caterpillar looking back? If so, and you too would like to approach content more mindfully, here are some practical suggestions drawn from my own experiences:
Do a content consumption audit
Think back on how much time you’ve spent consuming content in the last week, what kind of content it was, and how each kind of content made you feel (in the moment and afterwards). This doesn’t need to be a huge and daunting task – just a time of honest self-reflection to find a baseline to start making changes from. You can find a running summary of your screen time on your phone which can be helpful, but may also be more than a little distressing… Don’t forget about all the other media you’ve consumed on other devices as well, including shows, movies, podcasts etc. Keep in mind that you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge, so the key idea here is to be totally honest with yourself.
Make small changes, often
Now that you have an idea in your mind of where you’re starting from, you can start thinking about where you want to be in the future. I am normally someone who likes to set very clear longer-term goals, but in this case, I personally think it’s far more helpful to make small changes and make them often. This makes the process more of a flexible experiment than a rigid, linear plan that would probably be abandoned when you inevitably don’t stick to it. Is there an app you’ve realised is something you don’t want to give us much of your time to? Can you put limits in place via that app or your phone software to make it harder to access for more than a limited time every day? Of course, you can bypass the time limits you yourself put in place, but in that moment you have to think about how to access the app, is the space to make a better choice. If you aren’t really gaining anything from an app, why not delete it off your phone just for a day or two to see how it feels not to have it? Maybe a day or two is all the time you need to realise that you don’t really want it back. When you feel like scrolling or mindlessly watching or listening to something, have a few alternatives readily at hand – a book, a craft project, a colouring page, a phone call you can make to a friend or family member… anything that is more “nourishing”. Everyone is different, so you’ll need to think about these little changes you can start experimenting with to see what works for you.
Give yourself time to digest
Make a point of pausing for at least a minute or two after reading, watching or listening to something in order to reflect on it. It’s so easy to jump from one thing to the next, then realise at some point that we actually weren’t absorbing anything and have no idea what we just saw or heard. A longer reflection time is better, but even just that little pause can give you time to decide whether what you’re consuming is good for you, and what you can take away from it. When something strikes you, why not write it down or make a dedicated note on your phone to keep adding things too. This is what I’ve been doing, and I know that all these incredibly helpful realisations and ideas only came about because of that pause for reflection. And the only reason I remember any of them is because I added them to a Google Keep note in the moment.
Convert consumption into action
Now what use is a list of intriguing thoughts and interesting ideas if you never DO anything with them? You could schedule a regular time – maybe at the end of the day or week – to go through your notes and choose at least one thing to take some kind of action on. An interesting question might have arisen for you that you can journal about to gain more clarity. Or you might have been inspired to make a change in your life or try something completely new. Maybe you heard about a book you want to read, a recipe you want to try, or a different perspective on something you want to share and chat about with someone. There are so many ways to transform consumption into insight, creativity, positive change, and so many other uplifting and constructive things. And it doesn’t take much – just small choices to do small things that add up and have a big impact.
Reflect and adjust your approach
As I said before, this is a process that will look completely different from one person to the next, and change won’t be a linear progression of carefully planned out steps. You’ll find things that work and things that don’t. You’ll make mistakes and completely forget about your intentions at times. And as life shifts and you yourself change, your needs and outlook will change as well, and you’ll need to adjust your sails accordingly. Just continue to keep coming back to being mindful, honest, self-reflective and willing to give something new a try without feeling like you’re “failing”.
In starting, and continuing to commit to doing the above, I have reclaimed so much of my life – including mental clarity and the ability think more creatively – that I didn’t even realise I was losing little by little.
It’s an ongoing challenge to navigate a world where the temptation to content caterpillardom is constant and so compelling. It’s like an all-you-can-eat content buffet with every variety of content anyone could ever dream of. So much of it can be good and wholesome and provide you with fuel for living a purposeful life. But don’t let content consume you. Don’t let it consume your original thoughts, your creativity, your relationships, your mental health, your physical health, your self-worth, your unique personality and gifts… Your life is far too precious to look back on it one day and wish you had spent less time scrolling and more time living.
If you too would like to metamorphosise from content caterpillar to life-living butterfly, or navigate another type of life metamorphosis, feel free to contact me about life coaching: https://portaltochange.com/life-coaching/
Portal to Change 