The other day I was sitting in front of my computer feeling drained and in desperate need of some relaxation. The outdoors beckoned, and in keeping with my learnings as a cub-scout mom and later a cub-scout leader, I went fully prepared…
- Blanket (because as pretty as grass looks it harbours many little many-legged critters which is far too many legs for me)
- Cup of tea (because without caffeine, relaxation may quickly turn into a nap and what would be the point sleeping through the experience)
- Mozzie repellent (because apparently I am the mozzie equivalent of a free pop-up all you can eat desert bar)
- Snack (because why not?)
- Armed-response panic button (because this is South Africa and some random creeper might decide to brave the electric fence)
So out I went, laden like a pack mule but with beautiful visions of imminent peace and tranquillity dancing in my head. I was all set to have a perfectly relaxing time.
I’ll bet you’re waiting for me to tell you that it wasn’t at all relaxing, because it just seems like that’s where this story is heading. And you would be absolutely right… or completely wrong depending on your own perspective.
For starters, the tea had cooled a bit after all the preparations and the snack – a little packet of off-brand cheddar biscuits – tasted like a little packet of off-brand biscuits of ambiguous salty flavour. Added to that, the combination of lush grass and soft blanket did exactly zero to cushion me from the very hard, very solid earth beneath them. And as extensive as my checklist was, I had forgotten to bring a pillow and had to lie on my arm which gradually became numb from staying in one position and being crushed by my skull for too long. My daughter Lara was enjoying the pool which would have been a soothing sound if not for the thwack, thwack, thwack sound made by the flap of the weir every time the water moved. And to top it all off, my Staffordshire Terror Skye took the opportunity created by my being on the ground to very closely examine my face… repeatedly… whilst drooling… profusely… The blanket did catch some of the drool though, which meant that when I moved my as yet un-crushed and un-numbed arm, it would find a fresh patch of cooling drool.
All of this could have meant a doomed quest for relaxation, but instead I chose to focus on what was really great about the experience. The sky was the most incredible shade of blue and the grass and trees still held on to their shade of vivid summer-green. The fluffy white clouds were moving slowly and my imagination ran wild trying to come up with all the things I thought they resembled. A gentle breeze moved the warm air in a way that felt extremely comforting and the smell of the grass and plants was subtle and pleasant. Best of all I was with loved ones – Lara and both the dogs. And Skye’s determination to be in my space and share his love (and his drool) with me made me laugh out loud at the absolute absurdity of the whole affair. I felt completely relaxed.
Often we have specific ideas in mind about how things should be – that life should look a certain way for us to feel a certain way. But the truth is that life will always unfurl in unexpected ways which are often quite the opposite of the idyllic pictures we’ve painted in our heads. Life is never going to be perfect, but if we shift our focus we can find fragments and moments of perfection. When we do this we can feel the things we want to feel immediately instead of waiting for the unlikely event that the ideal picture in our head will finally align with reality.
But how can we put this into practice?
1 – Set an intention.
My intention for my excursion into the back-yard was relaxation. I started with what I wanted to feel and went from there.
2 – Keep checking-in to make sure your focus is in line with your intention.
I wanted to feel relaxed so I didn’t focus on the things that would make me feel anything but relaxed. Instead, I did what I could to make the experience relaxing. And when my ideal picture inevitably didn’t line up with reality I simply focused on the parts of reality that lined-up with what I wanted to feel.
The circumstances we find ourselves in are often far from perfect, but we can find glimpses of perfection if we look hard enough. It’s all about where we choose to focus our attention and, in turn, how we choose to feel.
Wishing you firm intentions and steady focus!
Portal to Change 