Before I was introduced to the concept of using affirmations as a coping strategy for anxiety and panic, I thought the whole idea was a bit ridiculous. All I had to base my knowledge on was the media’s portrayal of characters repeating phrases like “Nothing will get me down today” or “Today is going to be the best day of my life” while staring intently at their reflection in a mirror. After that follows the inevitable zombie apocalypse, alien invasion or deadly virus – all of which would get even the most nauseatingly positive and optimistic person down and ruin their day. The safety of affirmations also comes into question when you consider a possible cause and effect relationship – start the day with a positive affirmation and end it in the middle of a cataclysmic nightmare… Thankfully my knowledge of affirmations and my experience with them has been expanded.
At the height of my struggle with anxiety and panic I was up for trying any coping skill which could possibly make a difference to the state I was living in. I can now tell you that even though affirmations seem a little odd, their effect can be really powerful when you learn to integrate them into your life.
So what exactly is an affirmation? It’s a statement which challenges your negative thoughts and helps you get into a more positive mindset. The great news is that you don’t actually have to say these statements out loud while staring at your reflection in a mirror. The inside of your head, where only you can hear them, is just fine. You can also use them absolutely anywhere without the need for mirrors and intense staring contests with yourself.
Affirmations are very personal and you will have to think about which negative thoughts you would like to change. For me, the most prominent negative thought associated with feeling anxious is: “I’m going to have a panic attack”. The most prominent negative thought (actually the onlyone that my brain can process at the time) associated with having a panic attack is: “This time I really amgoing to die”. On a side note, people don’t die from panic attacks, but knowing that intellectually doesn’t help when you actually feel like you’re about to die (no, I’m not just being dramatic in case you stumbled upon this and have never had a panic attack). I needed to counter these thoughts, so I had to come up with phrases which really drew my thoughts in the opposite direction.
Affirmations can be anything you want them to be – a quote, a prayer, part of a poem, the name of a loved one… any words that you feel can empower you to change your negative thoughts. Try to think of phrases you will remember easily, because when you’re fighting anxiety your brain just can’t process longer sentences and you might have lost track of the beginning of the thought by the time you reach the end. Also, try to find phrases that evoke as many positive thoughts and feelings and as much beautiful mental imagery as possible. This helps give your brain something else to focus on instead of the negative thoughts you’re trying to get away from. Think of it as distracting an obnoxious visiting toddler with something pretty and shiny so that they stop climbing your curtains, drawing on your walls and just generally trashing your house.
I’m going to share my top three affirmations with you so that you can get a better idea of what I’m talking about:
1. “I am a dog”
This affirmation came to me one day while I was watching my dogs play. Dogs are such incredibly joyful creatures and it struck me how they just focused on having the best time in the moment. Dogs don’t worry about saving their energy when they play and run, they just go for it and have the time of their lives! Dogs love with all their heart, enjoy life like there is no tomorrow and sleep like gold medalists if sleeping were an Olympic sport. Dogs live in the moment and find a lifetime of joy in each infinitesimal part of that moment.
On the day that this affirmation came to me, I was feeling extremely anxious, fearing that I would have a panic attack at any moment. I started repeating over and over again in my head “I am a dog, I am a dog, I am a dog” and along with those words came all the wonderful thoughts, images and ideas I have associated with dogs. The anxiety slowly started to ease and I felt so empowered.
I now use this affirmation any time I’m feeling anxious and it reminds me to live in the present moment and stop thinking about the past or worrying about the “what if’s” of the future.
2. “I choose to be here”
I can’t remember when I started using this affirmation, but it has helped me regain control over my life in so many areas.
Anxiety makes you feel like you’ve lost control, like you are just a victim waiting for the next attack. Your body randomly reacts to everything and nothing as if you were staring a ravenous bear in the face, completely helpless and drenched in salmon oil. This makes you start choosing the “safe” options in life. A panic attack in a grocery store means you avoid all grocery stores and all shopping malls for that matter, just to be on the safe side. Your world shrinks because you just can’t face another panic attack.
After a lot of therapy, hard word and time, I started to grow my world again. This affirmation really helped (and is still helping) me navigate that process. I remember facilitating a depression and anxiety support group one evening and feeling anxious and as if I were about to have a panic attack. I just kept repeating this affirmation over and over again in my head. I took ownership of being there, I reminded myself that it was mychoice and then I started thinking about all the reasons why I had chosen to be there. This helped me calm down and regain the control I was so desperate not to lose.
Now I use this affirmation in any situation that starts to feel unsafe to me – closed spaces, crowds, social situations with strangers… Every time I keep reminding myself that I chose to be there and why I made that choice. I take ownership of the situation and that is an incredibly empowering thing.
3. “This will pass”
This affirmation came to me after hearing panic attacks spoken about like the waves of the ocean. Anxiety and panic might wash over you, but they aren’t there to stay and they will pull back and give you space to breathe again.
When I was still having a lot of panic attacks I would say this affirmation over and over to myself and I would imagine the waves of the ocean washing over and then receding. I would think to myself that if I could just wait five more minutes, I would feel better than I was at that moment. Over time the panic attacks lessened and I think it had a lot to do with accepting them and letting them run their course. I had always tried to stop them and felt so powerless when I couldn’t. This affirmation has been a way of combating that sense of helplessness.
Why do affirmations work? After all, they are just short collections of words echoing through our heads, said by our own inner voice.
I believe they work because they drown out all our negative mental chatter with something positive. We can grab on to those words like a bright pink doughnut pool floatie in the dark and tumultuous sea of our own negative thoughts. Then we can hold on tight until those words carry us to calmer seas and warm, sunny shores which mark the beginning of endless possibilities.
I hope you will give affirmations a try and that you will find some which help you as much as mine have helped me.
Portal to Change 